….and a quick check of the Internet and the TV confirms the beginning of the biggest media event since 9/11. It’s gonna be GREAT and I’ve stocked up on snacks and a pot to piss in so I don’t have any distractions.

Now don’t get me wrong, while Jackson’s sudden death was a tragic end to the life of perhaps the greatest performer ever, I wasn’t exactly surprised by it. As a matter of coincidence, I had actually mentioned the possibility of it happening a week before he actually died (although the prediction at the time was that he would probably collapse on stage from an overdose of Liz Taylors while trying to cram 50 concerts into two weeks).

Equally unsurprising to me was the media storm that interrupted that whole #Iranelections thing (which was getting boring anyway) and the subsequent non-stop coverage given to Jackson’s untimely demise. But as I’ve already said, that was just the beginning.

Today I expect the biggest show of Jackson’s career, punctuated by the stuff that is truly funny – the high rising tide of emotional cheese that is sure to emanate from the feed as the day marches on.

This morning, for instance, I stumbled across a gem on Facebook which was so sopping with Limburger that I simply had to share some of it for the sole purpose of making you cringe. I’ve edited the piece a bit which is really just a list of rhetorical questions about what killed The Boy King. It’s titled “I think we’re Gonna Be Sad” Check it out after the jump (but make sure you haven’t just eaten)….

I Think We’re Gonna Be Sad…
Today at 07:44
By Michael Conally

I think I’m gonna be sad,
I think it’s today,
Cos the girl that’s driving me mad,
is going away…
–The Beatles, “Ticket to Ride”

Michael Jackson’s death was a shock to the world but in many ways Michael Jackson died a long time ago. Maybe it happened when he discovered his vitiligo skin condition which gradually changed parts of his body from African black to Caucasian white.

Maybe he died when he became really famous with the success of his Thriller album 25 years ago when suddenly money became more than just a number that had to be bettered and increased just to stay in the game.

Maybe he died because he just could not find anyone who understood him enough to love him for what he was and not for what he had…

Maybe he died from the moment he stepped out of his mother’s womb and cried his first note so sweetly …[and maybe] someone should’ve slapped him hard and tell him to shut up and never to cry again, instead of encouraging him to keep on crying because even the angels loved the sound he was making.

Now, although that was probably the most embarrassing tribute I’ve read so far (vitiligo?) by someone whose sole attachment to the star was his music and perhaps a studded Beat-it jacket, I’m sure its going to get better as the day continues.

Let’s just hope they keep the cameras rolling if God forbid, Bin Laden decides to bomb the New York subway at the height of this massive distraction.